I belong in the water

My name is Ylenia Carrisi, but you may know me as the daughter of Italian pop stars Al Bano and Romina Power, or the granddaughter of the American actor Tyrone Power and Mexican film star Linda Christian, or the niece of Mexican actress Ariadna Wlter. As you may notice, or may already know, my family is used to be under the spotlight but I am not. You may think I am just being a liar or dramatic since you may have already seen me staring in two important films with my parents: Champán in paradiso and La Ruota della Fortuna (I will pretend you haven’t seen these movies). Girls of my age would give anything to be in my “privileged” situation, they would kill to have my glamorous life, but between you and me, I would give anything to escape and get rid of all this bluff.

I don’t belong here; I don’t feel related with my family. I am different: I am shy, I hate being on the spotlight, I hate the flashlights of the cameras, I hate having to be sociable and pretending to be happy when I am not. I am into different stuff: I love reading and I actually love studying, I feel happy being alone and far away from my family’s show. I dream to be a journalist since I am not interested on being the center of attention, I dream to be free somewhere no one knows about me.

I am 24 years old and I think I am old enough to be the protagonist of my life and leave behind my family’s expectations for me, and so I did. I started my journey in South America and changed my name, I had always found Ylenia way too eccentric for me, so I decided I needed to have a more normal name, I had always liked Susan, from now on I am Susan. I had always wanted to visit the United States, the land of freedom, and so I did. I couldn’t be happier because nobody knows about me over here, I feel like a new person. I had also always wanted to find love, and so I finally did. Back at home boys were only interested in my family´s money and they would just get advantage of me, and daddy and mommy would just be concerned about what the press said about my relationships. But over here it’s different, he is different, he doesn’t look like a million dollar man. His name is Alexander Masakela, he is a musician and performs in the streets of New Orleans. He has a free soul and I love him, he has showed me how to live. My baby lives in shades of blue: blue eyes and jazz and attitude, he loves his baby too. He lives for love and for women too, I’m one of many but I am his blue eyed girl. While he holds me tight he whispers to me that I am the most exotic flower he has ever known. Somehow he convinced me, I believed him and I finally felt special, not because of something my family had achieved, but for me. The other girls say he’s just chasing paper, they are just jealous. They are envious because when he calls, he calls for me and not for them.

Suddenly my paradise became dark, I no longer saw the blue sky. My man started acting strange, and I can’t fix him I can’t make him better, and I can’t do nothing about his strange new weather. He suddenly became a religious man; he prays for love he prays for peace and someone new. New Orleans is not as happy as it used to be now that Alexander doesn’t love me. Not even alcohol, flake nor even blue meth can make me feel happy again. I no longer feel complete, the other girls were right. I realized my man is just like the rest, as a matter of fact, I think I have never met someone as dangerous and tainted and flawed as him. He is screwed up in his head, but I still he is the most brilliant handsome man. I’m crying on the floor while drinking a bottle of wine, I have just realized that I don’t belong to this life; life on earth is so hard and so sad. I belong in the water where suffering doesn’t exists, the water is calling me and so I shall leave.