It Is More Than Washing Your Hands and Turning the Lights Up and Down: Dealing with Obsessive Compul

I used to go up and down the stairs repeatedly, scratch my thumbnail and cover my ears every time I heard someone complaining with sounds similar to moans, say the word “NO!” when I heard something inappropriate, and yes I washed my hands obsessively in order to get rid of germs. But these are just some of the rituals that I did in order to be “safe”, or that’s what my brain thought.

I was more or less eleven years old when I started developing these weird actions that appeared to have a meaning behind, (at least for me). Despite the fact that since I was little I used to arrange all my stuff almost perfectly, it wasn’t until my parents divorced that I began to do the rituals. Of course I thought that I was going crazy, since even my family didn’t know what was happening to me, but I just couldn't help the intrusive thoughts of fear that arose in my mind over and over again. When I was sixteen, I discovered that my craziness actually had a name. As strange as it sounds, when I saw the movie European Gigolo, I couldn't stop laughing at the girl who can’t touch knobs and slaps herself three times when someone sneezes, but I also felt relieved when I investigated more about OCD.

According to the International OCD Foundation, the “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that affects people of all ages and walks of life, and occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings. Compulsions are behaviors an individual engages in to attempt to get rid of the obsessions and/or decrease his or her distress.” And even though we all might experience obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors at some point of our lives, it is only diagnosed when it interferes with the person’s normal life.

And although there are two treatments for OCD (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and medication), the cognitive therapy is the most researched psychological treatment for Obsessive Compulsive and related disorders such as BDD or health anxiety and the only talking therapy that is recommended by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE). This type of treatment includes what is called Exposure and Response Prevention, which means exposing yourself consciously to the feared situation in order to confront the irrational thoughts. Since OCD is a mental vicious cycle, it cannot be beaten by other thoughts, but it needs to be seen from the outside.

For me, exposure has been the most important aspect to overcome these obsessions. I discovered that the fact of noticing that nothing really happens when you abstain from doing the ritual, is a total relief. Also, it is necessary to notice the thoughts and to accept that they are there, but it is crucial to know that I am the one who chose to believe in them, and I’m the one who can observe them as they are: just thoughts.